Only anarchists are pretty...

I'm coming up on the 2 month mark of my move from Chicago to GR. As I mentioned before, it's been a fairly easy transition. While there are definitely things I miss about Chicago (hanging with friends, wandering around the neighborhood on foot, Ping Pong, Piehole, a Borders with a great bargain section in every neighborhood), I've found things to sort of replace some of the Chicago stuff (hanging with family/friends, wandering around town in my car, XO, Fratelli's, Schuler Books).

I was in Chicago this past Saturday to get my hair cut/colored (it was so long overdue, and I feel so much better for doing it), and managed to meet up with many of my girlfriends for brunch (Yolk, highly recommend) and another friend for drinks later. I found myself comfortable as always to be in Chicago, but quite ready to get home by the evening. The pace really is slower here in GR, and I'm liking it. Chicago already feels a little to frenetic to me, now. But it will always feel like home, too.

So, here's what's being going on in my life for the last couple of months:

Work: Still working remotely for my Chicago firm, and looking for a full time gig here in GR. Hoping that some recent leads will pan out here, but happy to still be able to work from home for awhile.

Family/friends: As many of you know, my brother J will be marrying his fiance H in about a year. And now I can share that H has asked me to be her maid of honor. I believe my verbatim answer was something like, "Absolutely, of course, if you think I won't screw it up." But I bought a couple of books so I have some guidelines, and my friend S, the queen of wedding etiquette, is my not-so-secret weapon. And it's going to be early next October - theme: Halloween. A Hallowedding! What fun. It's been nice to be able to regularly see and hang out with my family and friends here, too.

Apartment: Still need to build a couple of bookcases I bought, fill them, and then buy more bookcases. Also will need a living room chair at some point (when the books are finally unpacked), and a bench for the bedroom near the window. And I need to frame one big poster I've had forever, and hang a few more things (including curtains). But other than (all) that, mostly done with the place.

Halloween: I have decided on this year's costume...She-Hulk:

Thank you Neil Gaiman and Comics Alliance for the idea. She-Hulk is a lawyer by day. It's perfect for me (and easy). I'm also working on collecting music for this year's Halloween mix, which will be back with a vengeance this year. Still up in the air as to whether I'll be heading to Chicago on Halloween night (thinking about logistics of where I'm going to stay if I do, etc.).

Autumn: The leaves are finally changing, and I'm loving it. I need to take a drive up north a bit to see more. And while it has been a bit too chilly for October, I'm still glad for the chillier temperatures. I love this time of year so much.

I had a lot of reasons for moving home to GR from Chicago. But one of the ones that has turned out to be important has to do with the concept of home. Not just that this is my hometown and my family and many friends are here, which are factors, but that feeling of living in a space that makes me feel comfortable, makes me breathe a little easier. I've found that here.

In Chicago, I noticed that I was staying home a lot more in the last year or two. But I for a few reasons (my succession of criminal/idiot neighbors being a huge one, and the fact that my Chicago apartment was noisy as all hell even when the neighbors were decent being another) I never felt that ultimate comfort of home at my place there.

I've found that feeling here. Since I've moved here, I've had the chance to spend the majority of my time in my apartment. I work from home every day. I had a head cold from hell that had me not leaving my building for days at a stretch. I spend plenty of evenings in, reading and watching old movies as I've always loved to do. So I spend a good amount of time here, alone. And you know what? I love it. I feel an ease here I hadn't felt in Chicago in ages. Yes, it's different living in GR, and not without its own annoyances (this is life, after all), but ultimately I feel happier and less stressed here than I have in a long time. I feel, to be precise, at home.

Move: Went surprisingly smoothly. I definitely recommend Movetastic for moving services in Chicago. Fast, courteous, reasonably priced. Just really cool guys. Got everything to GR and unloaded a week ago. Have spent the last week painting (er, yeah, the brothers didn't get quite as much done as I'd hoped), unpacking, spending money on furniture, catching up with GR folks, etc. Hope to get most of the place sorted by this week...still so much to do it makes my head spin.

Farewell to Chicago: I don't know that it's really hit me yet that I'm no longer a Chicago resident. I was there Saturday to Sunday to get the hair done (not changing stylists, damn it), go out to Panic to say goodbye, and pack up/throw out what was left in the apartment. Panic was bittersweet, for sure. But I know I will be back often, and I hope that everyone who said they'd come up to visit will do so. Leaving the Chicago apartment wasn't hard at all - things have been so noisy/ridiculous there in the past couple of years that I was so ready to go. So, perhaps it will hit me soon that I am a Grand Rapidian again...but I will always be a Chicagoan, too (and a Londoner - some places just feel like home, eh?).

...but still had the feeling that you wanted to stay?

Yes, lately my feelings can be summed up by an old Jimmy Durante tune. As the move date grows closer and more definite, I'm a swirl of emotions. Happy. Scared. Excited. Overwhelmed. Ready. Unready. I am, once again in my life, leaping out of a comfort zone. Hopefully (and likely), I'm jumping into another comfort zone, but a lot of uncertainty remains. Hopefully that uncertainty will be possibility.

Friday: Started drinking at 5 p.m. Ended at 1 or 2 a.m. Encore, Clark Street Ale House, Garrett Ripley's, Howl At The Moon (so awful), and The Continental. Never really ate dinner along the way. But did manage to meet a band of firemen from Ireland at Clark Street Ale House, in town for Chicago's St. Patrick's Day festivities. They (OK, I admit, 1 in particular) were responsible for my late night out. And that's all I'm going to confess about that, other than to note that I did drop him off at his hotel and go home alone, feeling a nice little ego boost that's lasted for days. ;) I will, however, provide you with some nice eye candy to let you know the, er, caliber, of a couple of the firemen we met (and yes, the 1 I got to know a bit was of this caliber as well - woot!), though these aren't actual pics of them: The Dublin Fire Brigade Calendar.

Saturday: Finally saw Watchmen, and was mostly pleased with it. It really was well done visually, and very well cast for the most part. I'll be getting the DVD when it comes out. Later on, I saw The Lost Shakespeare Play, which a friend of mine is in. It was quite funny and well-acted, and I highly recommend it. It closes this weekend, so check it out. From there we stopped at Skylark, then I went to Kinetic Playground for Wax Trax night.

Sunday: Much needed day of rest. Finished Galway Bay, which I recommend for a nice, historic, epic yarn. Reminds me a bit in style of The Tea Rose, another book I love.

Yesterday, on our couch (quotes are approximate):

J: Is it supposed to be cloudy tomorrow?

D: I dunno, CLTV should have a weather update soon if you want to check.

J: I was just wondering if the groundhog would see his shadow tomorrow, and if we'll have six more weeks of winter.

D: J, we live in the Midwest. We'll always have at least six more weeks of winter, if not more.

J, sadly: I know...

Well, I guess it's time to share with you all the thing that's been spinning around in my head for the last 6 months or so, and the decision I've made.

Sometime in late August/early September, after 12 years in Chicago, I'll be moving back to Grand Rapids.

A lot of factors have contributed to this decision. There are small reasons and large reasons, pros and cons, but ultimately, my decision comes down to this: I miss my family, and they're all in GR, so back to GR I will come.

I've been knocking around the idea of moving back for the last year or two, but it became less about maybe and more about definitely in the last 6 months or so, and especially the last 3. M's accident played a role in that, as you can imagine. Not only the fact that I wish I could be there more to help with his therapy and care, but the fact that I was there quite a lot in the last 3 months. And in that time, I got to spend the time with my family that wasn't holiday time, wasn't vacation time, but was just everyday family time. And I realized how much I miss it, and how much I don't want to miss out on it in the future.

I miss my GR friends, too. People who've known me since my teens and longer, and who've stuck around for all that time. That's not to say I won't miss my Chicago friends when I go, because they are just as important to me, and I most certainly will miss them. But I feel confident that I will be able to stay close with all of the amazing people I know and love in Chicago (and everywhere else). I promise, I will be back often (I have to come in once a month, at least, to get my hair done - because I am NOT switching stylists, and that means I'll still come to Panic, natch), and my GR door will be open for visitors, always.

I'm also ready for a somewhat quieter life. I end up spending weekends entirely at home as much as out these days. While the many options for nightlife and events in Chicago are nice, I don't really need 20 things to do on a given evening anymore. Just a few will do me nicely.

I feel, too, like I can (hopefully) concentrate on my writing more in GR. For me to write, I need to be able to sort of check out of my surroundings and sink into the material, and I find that difficult here. Between the bustle of the city, the raucousness of my neighborhood, and the absolute thoughtlessness of the jerk who lives upstairs, I find it hard to be able to stay in the world I'm writing. I know I'll still deal with some of those issues in GR, but hopefully on a smaller, more manageable scale.

I also eventually want to buy a house, hopefully my dream house (hello, library). GR is definitely the place to do that - there are lovely rehabbed Victorian (and similar) homes in GR for sale for a song compared to most other places.

So I'm putting out feelers and doing research regarding GR employment, apartments, vehicles (I'll have to have a car again - first time in 12 years), movers, etc. It will be strange and exciting to come back to GR as a "grown up" (that always goes in quotes for me), given that I was a pretty young adult when I left.

I have about 8 months left here in Chicago. In that time, I hope to do all the things I've not yet gotten around to doing since 1997, like checking out the aquarium and the plantarium, conservatories and zoos, the museums and neighborhoods I've not yet seen, and of course the many restaurants and bars I haven't tried, as well as my old favorites. Anyone who wants to join me, let me know.

So in Chicago it's been snowing. Also it's been sunny. Does that mean that we should be looking for a snowbow?

In case anyone was wondering about my opinion on Rod Blagojevich's appointment of Roland Burris to Obama's Senate seat (cue chirping crickets), it's this: The seat is now lost to the Republicans in 2010.

I think the appointment is legal. I think, no matter how many roadblocks get thrown in front of Burris, that he will be an Illinois Senator. But I think it's sad we're even at this point right now.

Any embattled governor who even wanted to pay lip service to the idea of wanting what's best for Illinois citizens in this situation would not have appointed anyone to the seat while under this cloud of criminal charges and impeachment proceedings. Any potential Senator who gave a damn about the citizens of Illinois and the Democratic party in Illinois would have turned the appointment down, knowing that the taint will not be forgotten come 2010. But Blago and Burris don't give a fuck about the citizens of Illinois. They just care about themselves and their own egos. That in itself is not surprising to me. But the blatant way they've fed their egos on the public stage, without considering the future, is something that has, sadly, surprised me a bit.

If Blago wanted to fuck over Democrats in Illinois for years to come (and I think he does want to), he has accomplished it by making this appointment. That part has nothing to do with Burris himself. It's just the way this whole thing will play out. Blago is tainted. Anyone Blago appoints to the Senate seat is tainted (likewise, anyone who accepts such an appointment is tainted, and that part does have to do with Burris, because he should know that). And when it comes time to run for re-election in 2010, which Burris has said he will do, Illinois citizens are not going to forget that taint. And Illinois Republicans are going to make damn sure that we remember it.

Burris will be seated. Blago will be impeached. Whether or not the criminal charges stick, Blago is through in public office, and his name will become (heck, already is) synonymous with classless, pay-to-play, shady government. And before the election season even really gears up in 2010, Republican ads will repeatedly remind us that Burris was appointed by Blago, and then will give us a nice review of Blago's history.

So way to go, Blago and Burris. You've just guaranteed that Obama's seat will go Republican in 2010. Put that accomplishment on your fucking tombstone.

It's been snowing up for most of the afternoon.

Pretty fucking low, eh, Rod?

I feel a mixture of shock and resignation at the news. We all know Blago is as corrupt as the day is long, so the news that he's been arrested on corruption charges is no big shock. But the fact that the charges are based on activity in the past 2 months (when he knows he's been under investigation for a couple years now), activity including trying to sell a United States Senate seat (recently vacated by the first black president elect, for fuck's sake) and withholding bailout funds from the Trib unless they fired the editorial staff that wrote stuff Rod didn't like!?

What. The. Fuck. This is indescribably disgusting, and, I might add SO FUCKING STUPID. How on earth did he think that he'd get away with this? It's got to be something like narcissistic personality disorder or similar. That's the only thing I can think of, other than rank stupidity and hubris. Let Blago hang, the corrupt, and inept, fucker. We need someone who gives a flying fuck about the citizens of Illinois in office.

I love the smell of rain and corruption in the morning.

Chicago bargoers are already familiar with these folks, but for the rest of you, I thought you might be interested in reading about the tamale guy and the muffin lady, both staples at many Chicago bars. You can still catch a tamale guy most nights out, but the muffin lady, sadly, doesn't peddle her special muffins anymore (I don't think). Having tried some of her "not straight" baked goods, I can tell you that's a shame. (I don't have the energy here for a rant against stupid drug laws, but I expect you can put one together yourself.)

Yes, it's true, we've decided to discontinue Boystowners after a 2+ year run. It got to the point where it was too broad (covering poltics, local stories, events, you name it) and too narrow (focusing mostly on Boystown and Chicago stories), and became too difficult to keep up (and those who were reading regularly know that I did my damnedest to keep it up, sometimes to the point of being the only poster for weeks on end). It was a good experience and I enjoyed it, and I don't rule out the idea of working on another group blog in the future (probably something lefty political or similar), but the time came to shut it down.

You all know, of course, that this hardly means my days of political ranting are over. I'll still go off here on all sorts of issues, of that you can be sure.

And hopefully someday I'll have a link to post to my archived articles, because there were a few of them I must say I quite liked.

In the meantime, adieu, Boystowners. It's been real.

You never know what you'll find when you catch a cab in Chicago. Your cabbie may be talkative, wanting to know how your day/night is going, and conversing from there. Your cabbie may be totally silent, not even responding to your destination request or thanking you for his or her tip. Your cabbie may blare classic rock, techno, NPR, ethnic music from far destinations, or Christian radio.

Often the most telling things in a cab, however, are the things with which the cabbie decorates his or her workspace. Like this morning, when I hopped in a cab to go to work (running late again), and saw a worn bumper sticker on the dash reading:
SATAN GET LOST
THIS IS
HOLY GHOST ARENA
I'm sure Satan and his or her minions are totally scared off by such a bumper sticker. (A quick Google search reveals that Holy Ghost Arena is located in Nigeria, at a church camp of some sort.)

That still doesn't top my favorite little telling detail in a cab, though. That's the time I glanced at the cab company name on the cab license, only to have to try to keep from giggling. The name?
SWEET JESUS TAXI CO.

Rather a let down to be back in the office after a long holiday weekend. And very difficult to get out of bed this morning. At least the sun is shining (though the weather forecast for the rest of the week looks bleak).

In case it's not obvious, I fucking love street preachers and messengers. Here's another street preacher story for the ages: Thursday I was walking along State Street on my way to pick something up from Macy's before I headed to GR for the weekend. As I walked past Old Navy, I had to pass the Old Navy preacher, as usual. And as usual, he was ranting against people who smoke (whether it be regular cigarettes or "reefer", no smokers are getting into heaven, according to this guy). But I found it really hard not to laugh in his face that day, as he came out with this gem as I was walking by: "All you people who smoke weed and cigarettes...WHY DO YOU HATE JESUS!?!?"

Today's the day, the big primary day, and Illinois is among the over 20 states that will cast ballots for primary candidates and local races. (Need information on local and national elections today? Check out my post on Boystowners, which is chock full of helpful links.) As is my usual habit, I voted before work:



( And here's how I voted on the bigger, contested races )

Get out there and make your voices heard, kids...

On Friday I had an evening of quintessential CTA moments:

-First, the fellow traipsing through the Monroe street Red Line stop, singing Mariah Carey's Vision of Love at top volume (so loud, in fact, that at first I thought he had a microphone). He was really dragging out the long notes, and was clearly very impressed with himself. I would have been quite impressed, too, if every other note hadn't been ear-naggingly off-key.

-I got on the Red Line train, first car, to realize only after the doors had closed that the car was scented with eau de urine. Gah. I toughed out the ride, though, since I only had about 3 stops to go.

-I took the bus home later, having had to step into a massive sludge puddle to get to the steps of the vehicle, one of those deceptive things where you think it's just a couple of inches deep, and find your foot immersed once you've taken a step into it.

-On the bus, a couple of queens got on up in my neighborhood, and proceeded to bicker for the next few minutes. The source of their bickering? Not the relative merits of presidential candidates, opinions of the latest hit play, or even accusations of infidelity. No, they bickered, continuously, about ice cream. Queen A was having Queen B over to his place, Queen B wanted to get ice cream, Queen A said he already had ice cream he was perfectly fine with and why did Queen B want to bring more ice cream over that Queen A would just have to eat up later? Queen B said he just wanted to try something new, and Queen A said Queen B was always acting like this, and at this point I was glad to arrive at my stop, because my lip was acquiring bite marks from my attempts not to laugh.

The rest of the weekend was spent reading, as per usual, and it was quite nice, I must say.

...I mean, yeah, it's a mess downtown (a cold mess, not a hot one), and something of a hassle to walk round in the slush, but it's still just a snowfall, like we have every winter in Chicago. It's always the same: pretty flakes and drifts, dirty streets and sidewalks, muck and mire that seems to take forever to drain (what IS wrong with Chicago's drainage, anyway?), and people who forget how to drive the second the first flake falls.

And it IS pretty, at least up in my neighborhood, where it's not totally turned to brown sludge.

Plus, I really have no plans for the weekend beyond getting my hair cut/colored today. So it's really an ideal time for a snowfall. I do wish we weren't out of firewood, though.

Have a cozy weekend, all...

After a couple of days of relative thaw, Chicago's back in the deep freeze. It's a bit too cold, even for me, little Ms. I Like Winter. But hey, I know January and February in Chicago are the hardest months to get through, so I soldier on. And last night's blizzard conditions (which hit, literally, 5-10 minutes after I got home last night) were pretty, if messy.

The bus I take to and from work every day is one of those that's to be cut under the CTA's "Doomsday Plan", which is set to go into effect on Sunday. Way to go, State of Illinois, CTA, and whoever else is responsible for all this mess (I won't pretend to know exactly where all the blame should go here, I'm just pissed my commute is going to be all fucked up). Way to fuck patrons of public transport in Chicago. And special thanks to you, Senator Emil Jones, for postponing the Senate vote on funding for a week, making the Doomsday Plan a certainty. Aside to Mayor Daley: Good luck with that Olympic bid without a viable public transit system.

The first lines of the old Emily Dickenson poem keep running through my head these days: "I'm nobody! Who are you? Are you nobody, too?" Feeling somewhat marginalized in many ways, and working to change it. And also to keep my sense of humor about identifying with a repressed 19th century poet:


(Pic via Lolauthors.)

But at least it's nice and cool out today, which put an autumnal spring in my step as I left home this morning...