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Farewell, Mad Men

Edited to add: Spoiler-free evaluation: An imperfect finale with some perfect moments. I was very pleased with the endings of the Joan and Peggy storylines. Fine with the Campbells. There was not enough Roger or Sally. I didn't need to see Betty at all (I never do, though, she is easily my least favorite regular character). And, as always, too much Don (who I lost interest in a couple of seasons ago).



People change. People grow. But people still have to live with who they were and what they've done.

There are people from my past who have hurt me and those I love. People who I hear about through the grapevine; that they've gotten their lives together. That they're not like that anymore. That's fine. That's great. I am all for people getting help, admitting their issues and addressing them, moving forward with their lives. Good on you. Have at it.

But I don't owe those people my forgiveness. They have no rights whatsoever to it. And I don't have to be pals with them again because they may have changed or grown. Some hurts are too big to fix, and I don't have to try to fix them. I can say, "You know what, that person was awful to me and mine. I don't want that person in my life, ever, no matter how much they claim to have changed or grown." And I can withhold my forgiveness, my time, my energy.

Some fuckups can't be fixed. Sometimes amends can't be made. And it's the person who was hurt who gets to make the call, not the person who did the hurting. Make your peace without me. I'm not interested.


I've got a major day tomorrow, and would appreciate any possible good vibes, prayers, etc. that anyone might have to point my way. I even made a You Got This mix to listen to in the morning:
You Got This Mix

Of course this post is vague, since I don't want to jinx anything, but I will (vaguely) share any good result that happens.


Edited to add: Alas, no. :(


Song meme

1:A song you like with a color in the title

Red Eyes & Tears - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

2:A song you like with a number in the title

40 Days - Slowdive

3:A song that reminds you of summertime

Always Loved A Film - Underworld

4:A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about

I Go To Sleep - The Pretenders

5:A song that needs to be played LOUD

Temple of Love - The Sisters of Mercy

6:A song that makes you want to dance

Psyche Out - Meat Beat Manifesto

7:A song to drive to

New Town Velocity - Johnny Marr

8:A song about drugs or alcohol

I'm Waiting For The Man - The Velvet Underground

9:A song that makes you happy

The Jean Genie - David Bowie

10:A song that makes you sad

Angie - Tori Amos cover of The Rolling Stones

11:A song that you never get tired of

As The World Falls Down - David Bowie

12:A song from your preteen years

Papa Don't Preach - Madonna

13:One of your favorite 80’s songs

Witchcraft - Book of Love

14:A song that you would love played at your wedding

Movie - The Birthday Massacre

15:A song that is a cover by another artist

Do You Want To Touch Me (Oh Yeah) - Joan Jett (covering Gary Glitter)

16:One of your favorite classical songs

The Flower Duet, Lakme - Leo Delibes

17:A song that you would sing as a duet on karaoke

Sometimes Always - The Jesus and Mary Chain with Hope Sandoval

18:A song from the year that you were born

Rebel, Rebel - David Bowie

19:A song that makes you think about life

Where Is My Mind - The Pixies

20:A song that has many meanings to you

Something Fast - The Sisters of Mercy

21:A favorite song with a person’s name in the title

Marian - The Sisters of Mercy

22:A song that moves you forward

Tears Dry On Their Own - Amy Winehouse

23:A song that you think everybody should listen to

Guilty - Assassins

24:A song by a band you wish were still together

Dreamtime - The Heart Throbs

25:A song by an artist no longer living

Somebody That I Used To Know - Elliott Smith

26:A song that makes you want to fall in love

I Only Have Eyes For You - The Flamingos

27:A song that breaks your heart

A Letter to Elise - The Cure

28:A song by an artist with a voice that you love

Blood - Casey Stratton

29:A song that you remember from your childhood

I Can't Get No (Satisfaction) - The Rolling Stones

30:A song that reminds you of yourself

Ampersand - Amanda Palmer


Happy V.D.!

New Year's Meme

1. What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before?

Visited NYC.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't do resolutions.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes, all happily and healthily.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

We got a bit of a break from that this year, thankfully.

5. What countries did you visit?

NYC seems a bit like its own country.

6. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?

I just really want to land on my own 2 feet. It's been over 5 years since I've felt steady and independent, and no matter how hard I've tried to land, I've remained up in the air. I'm ready to land and stand.

7. What date from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

April in NY, because it was my 1st time there.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I started to learn German a few months back, and though it is VERY difficult, I will stick with it. I also bought a sewing machine, and plan to start making more things.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Just the constant low-level failure of job hunting.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Not really more than average colds, etc.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My sewing machine, and books, always books.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My youngest brother is working towards independence and learning from his past.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

My father's wife. I'll never understand her hatred of my father's past and all of us in it.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Bills and books.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

NYC, new Anne Rice vampire book, learning new things.

16. What song will always remind you of 2014?

Lana Del Ray's version of Once Upon A Dream.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? About the same.
ii. thinner or fatter? A bit fatter.
iii. richer or poorer? About the same.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?


19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Stressing about things I have no control over.

20. How'd you spend Christmas?

Mum's house, open doors to all, as always.

21. How'd you spend New Year’s?

Home, watching some Norma Shearer Pre-Code films (A Free Soul and Private Lives).

22. Did you fall in love in 2014?


23. How many one-night stands?


24. What were your favorite TV programs?

Orphan Black, Downton Abbey, FaceOff, Supernatural, American Horror Story, Drunk History, Elementary, Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Sleepy Hollow, Scandal, Defiance, Mad Men, RuPaul's Drag Race, The Americans.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

I try not to hate. People I dislike, I'm mostly just indifferent to them.

26. What was the best book you read?

I've been on an Old Hollywood kick, borrowing all the bios I can from my local library, and I'm loving them.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

The soundtrack to Only Lovers Left Alive, most of which is by SQURL (which is Jim Jarmusch's band).

28. What did you want and get?

Just to be at peace most of the time.

29. What did you want and not get?

As noted above, to land and stand on my own 2 feet.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

Only Lovers Left Alive, Guardians of the Galaxy, Maleficent, all the Pre-Codes I've been able to binge.

31. What did you do on your birthday?

Small gathering of family & friends at my corner bar.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Not having to constantly worry about money.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?

Elder-Goth, corp Goth, witchy, comfy.

34. What kept you sane?

Family, friends, books.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Tom Hiddleston, of course.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

Ferguson, women's rights. We cannot go back in time.

37. Who did you miss?

Those we've lost, always.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

A friend's new wife, who is making him so happy.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014:

Always keep learning. It's never too late for it.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

"She loves the dark, 'cause she knows where it's coming from..." (Matthew Sweet, She Walks The Night)


New Year's Wishes and gifts

Originally posted by officialgaiman at New Year's Wishes and gifts

posted by Neil Gaiman

An old year ends, and takes with it people and sorrows and joys and memories, and a new one is on it way.

A New Year's Gift, for anyone who missed it:

The BBC Radio 4 GOOD OMENS Website, with all six episodes of the Radio Series available to listened to over the next 2-3 weeks.

And a reminder, over at you can read and listen to all the stories I wrote for the  A Calendar of Tales. January's Tale takes place in the moments between the first and the last chime of twelve midnight, when the Old Year is over and the New Year not yet begun.

May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.

...I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you'll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you'll make something that didn't exist before you made it, that you will be loved and that you will be liked, and that you will have people to love and to like in return. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), that you will, when you need to be, be wise, and that you will always be kind.

And for this year, my wish for each of us is small and very simple.

And it's this.

I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.

Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something.

So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.

Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it.

Make your mistakes, next year and forever.

And here, from 2012 the last wish I posted, terrified but trying to be brave, from backstage at a concert:

It's a New Year and with it comes a fresh opportunity to shape our world. 

So this is my wish, a wish for me as much as it is a wish for you: in the world to come, let us be brave – let us walk into the dark without fear, and step into the unknown with smiles on our faces, even if we're faking them. 

And whatever happens to us, whatever we make, whatever we learn, let us take joy in it. We can find joy in the world if it's joy we're looking for, we can take joy in the act of creation. 

So that is my wish for you, and for me. Bravery and joy.


I meant, and mean them all. I wasn't going to write a new one this year. But...

Be kind to yourself in the year ahead. 

Remember to forgive yourself, and to forgive others. It's too easy to be outraged these days, so much harder to change things, to reach out, to understand.

Try to make your time matter: minutes and hours and days and weeks can blow away like dead leaves, with nothing to show but time you spent not quite ever doing things, or time you spent waiting to begin.

Meet new people and talk to them. Make new things and show them to people who might enjoy them. 

Hug too much. Smile too much. And, when you can, love.

Labels:  Happy New Year

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